I just sent out a newsletter to my fledgling email list which began like this, ‘Living life in a ‘holding’ pattern is the ultimate test of faith. Currently, we can’t make long-term plans. We have to be flexible at all times’.
You see, transitioning back to Canada after 3 years in the US, and trying to find one’s feet can feel very much like standing on the sea shore, just where the waves become foam, and feeling the sand move swiftly under your feet as the water ebbs back into the ocean.
We had made tentative plans for the holidays which, even though I knew were tentative, I desperately hoped they would become certain.
The words of Hillsong United, ‘Where Feet May Fail’ resound in my head – You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. And there I find You in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand…
But I feel like my faith is VERY weak right now. You can listen to the song here:
And I wonder how the Israelites felt moving house (aka tents) for 40 years. Mind you, the reason they had to move house was because of their lack of faith in the beginning of their journey. They didn’t trust God’s Word (which is what faith is).
But I argue with God that I DO trust His Word. Did I not read yesterday from John 14:18 , “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you”? And did I not grasp that Christ promised that the Holy Spirit would be my Helper and would bring the relevant Scriptures – His Words, to mind to show me how it applies to my situation?
And did I not have Abraham’s example of stepping out in faith even when the details were sketchy? And do I not understand John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ???
Yes. I DO believe His words. But I am human and wish for all the human circumstances I hoped for but do not have this Christmas. Don’t get me wrong… there are MANY things I AM thankful for. I DO count the blessings in spite of God’s frowning Providence.
And so, this day, I persevere. I cry a little. I call a friend. She prays with me and reminds me of the Words I should remember. I gain strength. God’s strength that is made perfect in my weakness. I pick up the work God has called me to do with ChristianRoots Canada.
And I press on. Keeping my eyes on the thing that gives me purpose – Educating, Equipping and Inspiring Christians to be witnesses – helping them to see God’s goodness to Canada in the past, to recapture the vision, and seek to live out God’s Words to all nations, ‘Righteousness exalts a nation but sin is a reproach to any people.’ (Prov. 13:34)