Personal Blog

Somber Reflections… My Crazy = His Perfect

No more life

Death has come. His visit was swift. His effect was instant. And Tim’s Dad, the man I called ‘Dad’ for 27 years was gone forever. More and more I am realizing that what has felt like a CRAZY journey, is still God’s PERFECT Plan.

Soon after we arrived in Ottawa in mid November, Tim met with his Dad for lunch on two occasions, just as he was wrapping up the final week of his teaching career at a small Liberal Arts College of which he was a founding member.

We also met with him and his 89 year old sister, for a home-cooked Christmas lunch, with all the fixings.

He was taken to the hospital in mid January, a week before his passing. Tim visited him daily and twice a day on most days. Tim took home-cooked meals to him because he had complained about the hospital food.

Our last visit with him was the day before he passed away. We were expecting that he would be released in a few days. But that was not to be because the number of days God had ordained for him, were up. And some of the dimness and uncertainty of why God wanted us back here in Ottawa, was instantly revealed.

You see, Tim and I had embarked on this journey, about 5 years ago… BEFORE it became CRAZY. The planning for it had begun a few years prior with information – gathering and mapping out the path.

In 2014, Step 1 of the long-range plan was implemented: distance – learning courses from RPTS. These began in the Winter Quarter of the 2013/2014 year. Step 2 came with the transition from his job on Parliament Hill to coincide with the Federal Election in 2015. Step 3 was the move to Pittsburgh to be on Campus in January of 2016.

We had no definite plans after Graduation in 2018, but hoped and prayed that God would see fit to grant us the desires of our hearts but those desires were not to be. With the application for a change in status denied by the US Government, we packed up and came back home.

And so, we came back with heavy hearts, and an uncertain future. And now with his Dad’s passing, we see a small part of God’s plan. We needed to be here so we could experience closure and not have to dwell on ‘what-ifs’ had we not been here.

We have also experienced things from which the Lord graciously protected us. We were protected from entrapment that would have taken away from the jobs we need to focus on. In a strange twist of Providence, God has protected Tim and me from being caught in an unseen net which could have derailed us from our focus.

And while we see that, and praise God for that, we must still wrestle with, and deal with, spiritual and practical issues… unfinished business, incomplete reckonings, family relationships, re-arrangement of life and schedules, thoughts of God and of heaven.

And I realized a few important truths… that death in its cruelty, reveals that which was hidden in life. Thoughts, attitudes, and actions, both in yourself and others, now reveal themselves. Many of them, not pleasant.

And while we mull on the events and wait for the final closure – the funeral, we ‘speak truth’ to ourselves:

  • God loves us more than any earthly father can. He loved, so he GAVE… love is an action. We too must give because we love.
  • He blessed us with EVERY spiritual blessing in heavenly places.
  • He chose us, adopted us, redeemed us, forgave us and poured out his undeserved favor (GRACE) in a deluge on us.
  • And yet He says ‘In this world you WILL have trouble, but be of good courage, I have overcome the world.’
Author’s Note; Lynette is the owner of ChristianRoots Canada. She spent almost 3 years in Pittsburgh where her husband attended The Reformed Presbyterian Seminary. They are back in Canada for an undetermined period of time while God works out exactly where they ought to be serving Him in His kingdom. They have been experiencing many challenges in this journey back to Canada. She is blogging about them to keep perspective. Thanks for joining her on this journey.
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